Life like this

overdue

2009-06-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

I'm still here waiting for my little girl to come. They induce me on Thursday, but I have been crampy all last night and this morning, I'm hoping I will start some sort of a real labor pattern I would like to have the baby before the 4th of July.

But umm really its not up to me at all...

Anyway here is to hopefully going into labor ! cheers!

How did this happen

2009-04-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

See that little ticker over to the side- it says I will have a baby in 60 (or so) days... WOW it blows my mind. I think we have a name: Aylah or you could spell it Aila or Ailah or Ayla. Its pronounced A-lah which is why I like the Aylah spelling when you put the I in there I think it makes it look more like a I-lah

I love that its short easy to say and seems to have some spunk yet class to it. Of course this one still doesn't feel right, I think maybe I just need to see the baby this time.

Friday is Bella's birthday she will be 3 I don't know why but that feels SO old to me! I think its because we have another baby coming so soon.

I have everything ready for her birthday party on Saturday (whoop) she is so excited. I really want to make sure to do a little something for her on Friday. Dylan's brother is getting married so maybe I will just get up early and make waffles or something. My mom is planning on taking Bella shopping after the wedding if its not too late. She is an awesome grandma - who wouldn't want to go shop for their own presents.

What is in a name

2009-04-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

meme madness for no particular reason...other than to laugh at!

1.YOUR REAL NAME:
Kylei Donell Saaranen

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
lei howard

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad, or mother’s mother and father’s mother if you’re a female)
Barbara Betty

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Saaky

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
green lab

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Donell Medford

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Blue/Purple chocolate chai

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
kysa

9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Vanilla choco chip

10.SKANK NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
Angel Elm

11.GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of first name plus 'izzle')
kylizzle

12.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Samurai

13. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, and fav candy:
Lucky you Cadbury Creme Egg

Updates

2009-04-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

I've been busy real busy so says the doctor. He also said something along the lines of hey dumb ass slow down you are making a child. lol

Geez this last week was so full, full of fun and wonderful times with my family, full of memories of my grandfather, full of food and people loving on my belly.

Last Saturday almost all of my moms side of the family came down for a dedication in memory of my grandfather.

The day was beautiful, most importantly people remembered my grandfather for what he did best. Love and care for kids. That is who I think he really was. I know he was watching over us with pride on that day.

Getting everything ready for that day and then the day its self really took all of my energy, in fact I spent most of the next day out on the porch reading a book and soaking in the sun. While Dylan replaced the starter in my car which choose to take a dump on us Saturday night.

The next afternoon about 3 I noticed I was cramping a little and had loss some mucus, (sorry TMI) Called my mom who is normally my everything is ok chill out person. She told me to call the doctor. The nurse said go to the hospital now silly girl. Then later a doctor called and said he wanted to fit me in. (I go to a clinic and while a lot of people seem to think its a bad idea I have been going long enough that its like having 10 doctors who know you.)

The doctor confirmed that yep I was losing mucus but that is OK sense my water had not broke and the baby was in no stress. He also did this cool test that can tell if you have a chance of giving birth within the week. That came back negative also.

I was sent home freaked out by the fact that I am not superwoman and told to relax more and pace myself. I'm not the type to pace myself I do best under stress, so now in the spirit of pacing myself I plan on having everything ready for Bella's birthday this weekend.

She turns 3!! on the 1st of May that's next Friday. I can not believe how fast she is growing.

Dylan's brother is getting married Friday (to one of the most wonderful ladies I know, lucky lucky boy) the 1st so we are having a simple pizza party for Bella that Sunday. I'm going to help set up for the wedding Thursday and get the flower girls and myself ready the day of the wedding. So I don't want to have to do anything Saturday but relax for Sunday.

Hard to believe how fast life is going by for us. Its hard to believe soon we will have two little girls and be finished growing our little family. I don't know how my life turned out to be so blessed as god knows I probably don't deserve all of this. But I am thankful for every moment I have living this way.

Sorry the update is jumbled just wanted to catch up. :)

News

2009-04-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last few days stressing about "the call back" reading everything possible on the net on 2-3 year old stuttering and what to do. Realizing that for every site that said not to worry and to try doing this there was another that said the sky is falling and its up to you to hold it up.

Finally the sweetest woman called as I was running up three flights of stairs late for my Yoga class. After explaining to the nice lady that nope I'm not having a heart attack just 7 months prego running up steps to yoga. She giggled and offered to call back at a later time.

HA yea right. I took a seat right there on those steps and told her nothing was more important then her call and advise so give it to me doc.

She asked what "symptoms" were showing to worry me.

I rattled them off

She's almost 3 - has been talking full sentences sense she was one. Learning at least a word a day from 6 months.
Seemed to almost pick it up from her cousin, even though I know you can not learn to stutter.
Doesn't stutter on the letter so much as the word at the beginning of a sentence. like "what what what is that mom."
Or sometimes the middle and the beginning words. "what what what is tha tha that mom"
She knows she is stuttering and can't help it and asked me for help, so you know whatever we have to do we will do it.

Then she nicely told me how I am doing EVERYTHING wrong :) LOL

She believes that her vocabulary has out grown her fine motor skills. So Bella knows what she wants to say and her mouth just will not say it as fast as her mind is going. The therapist believes that with just home help she can grow out of her stuttering with in a few months.

She gave us great rules to follow that made sense to me.

Do not stop her mid-sentence to tell her not to stutter or slow down. (which is what I had been doing)
After she has a problem saying a sentence respond to her slowly and if possible repeat the same thing she asked in her question in your answer. So I would say "what is that Bella? ohh that's (insert whatever)"
Talk slowly to her so she knows its OK to take a breath and talk slow.
Make eye contact
Let her know she has your full attention. Tell her Mom is listening to you Bella.
Do Not tell her she is doing something wrong because that will cause a blockage and add more frustration.
Make sure any adults in her life know the "rules" so that she is getting the same message from everyone.

Then she told me to try that for a few months, that there was no magic number and trust my gut. (something I really love to hear from a specialist) Also to watch out for her voice to just give out on her. Like she can't say the letter M even though she is trying. To also watch out for frustration on her end. That way we can get her help before she chooses to stop learning all her new words. If any of those things start to happen give her a call back and she will see her right away.

I feel much better knowing what we can do here at home, I just hope she doesn't realize my heart breaks a little every time she has such a hard time saying what she wants to say.

Even if she is saying something mean to her mean old mom.

Well thankfully my mom reminded me that this Sunday is Easter not next Sunday... SO I'mbusy doing all the things I offered to do thinking I had an extra week.

If only a hug could fix everything

2009-04-06T09:36:00.001-07:00

Miss Bella ohh miss Bella

She has the tude of a drag queen on steroids. Yet the sweetness a second later of your favorite cookies fresh out of the oven.

I remember when we started on the terrible twos, god we would fight and fight and I was the hardest, meanest, mom ever. I went to bed most nights crying because how could my daughter like me I had spanked her and put her in time outs more then I had cuddled her.

I hated that she would listen to her dad like he was a new found god and fight me like I was an evil rash.

Of course her father and I were having some real problems and he moved out of the house during that time. I would wonder if she blamed me for his leaving and all of this "testing" was her way of saying I hate you and want dad home. Of course he wasn't gone very long and after he moved back in the "test's" were the same so that answered that.

These days most days we have some what of a understanding, I don't fight over everything, SO WHAT if she wants to run around dressed like a homeless street walker, SO WHAT if she truly belives brushing her hair is the end of the world. Go ahaed and dress like a crazed man who stuck his finger in a light socket, were just staying home anyhow and I think your beautiful.

She has learned that she can push and push but once I say the numbers one and then two, she is in deep shit if she doesn't stop what she is doing and get her butt here.

Yea I'm a push over alot - yea she wins. But never when her safety is on the line - or her manners, my child will say please and thank you and she will know to sit like a lady and eat with her mouth shut.

I guess this is my long winded way of saying we always work through whatever it is. I always have learned to make it work.

But lately I haven't been able to sleep, I'm worried to the core about my girl. Bella started talking at just a few months old. By a year old she was speaking full sentences, she has always been so very articulate, learning words at an incredible rate.

About 2 weeks ago we had her older cousin spend a few nights, her older cousin stutters really bad and somehow Bella just picked it up. I spent the first week saying Bella calm down say one word at a time.

The next wondering if she was doing it for attention until Friday night when I took her to my moms and reminded to be good and if she got excited use one word at a time.

She looked at me and said mom "I try to be a good girl and not stutter, I try my best I don't want to get in trouble and I know I am smart I'm trying mom."

All the sudden it clicked oh my god my daughter needs some help with this, I felt so horrible for all the times I told her hey you don't stutter. I know yours smart talk like it.

Here I thought she was just testing me again and somehow she learned to stutter from her cousin, I'm going to call a speech therapist. Because god knows this is something I don't know how to fix for her and that's all I want to do in this world.

Make sure my baby is happy healthly and living to her full potential!

Sick AGIAN

2009-04-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

Grrr I'm so annoyed! Please allow me to vent
I watch this little girl to help bring in some money for the bills. I have been watching her for almost 3 months. She has had a really horrible cough for 2 out of those 3 months. I mean hacking nasty stuff up horrible not just a little cough. I was giving her medication at first until I had bought bottles worth of medication and her mother never so much as thanked me. I mean if Bella is sick with anything more then a couple weeks I get her to a FUCKING DOCTOR.

Bella has gotten and gotten rid of this stupid cough 3 times I know its the same thing because it always starts out with her throwing up for a whole day then fighting the cold syptoms. Dylan has missed 2 days of work because of this stupid ass cold same with him he throws up for a whole day then has a cold. I have had it god knows how many times, except I don't throw up for a day, just have a day with my tummy in knots where I can't eat. Now this morning I wake up with the same old cold again. Think to myself oh yippee here we go. Went along with my day until about 10:45 I had a horrible coughing attack, I started coughing so hard that I threw up. That was about the point I got pissed. Enough is e-fucking-nough.

I'm 7 months pregnant the last thing I need is some nasty cold to get me in the hospital and put the baby in danger.

Tonight when the girls mom comes to pick her up I am going to tell her that she either get her a doctor appointment or not bother to bring her in. I have nicely reminded her about her daughter bad cold at least 3 times a week for the past 3 months. I mean her mother has gone to the doctor because she feels so sick from the cold or whatever it is. How do you pony up the money to take your self to the damn doctor because your daughter got you sick and not bother to take your child who is still sick.

With the money I have spent in cold medication and wages loss from Dylan being sick I could have paid for the damn doctor appointment myself by now.

I don't know what makes me more mad, that I am coughing up a lung, that my kid is coughing again or that this woman could care less that her child has been sick with something for 3 months...

Has to be the last one... Just has to be

God my ribs hurt......

TO~DO list

2009-03-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hi, I do believe I am nesting, because I WANT to clean and do you know stuff to the house and places with in the house like you know organizing my cleaning products, because we all know that's a MUST do.

Outside:
Clean out old Car ~ so we can maybe sale it???
Pull Weeds
Put down bark in front yard
Put stuff in shed - random stuff like the random tire in our yard.
Clean up dog Doo doo -
weed eat the yard, (our yard is small so we don't need a mower)
Plant some Grass Seed
Till up Garden and add more soil
Power wash house
PLANT VEGGIES (this is the best most fun thing in my life. I love my little garden!)
Plant herbs in front pots (I'm doing this rather then planting a bunch of flowers that will die.)
Plant Flowers in hanging pots.

Inside:
Fix drains, they don't suck down the water like they used too??
Clean out bedroom closet. I feel like I do this ever 3 months...
Organize movies ~
Clean under couches and T.V. stand
Organize pot and pans (So Bella can pull them out and play with them)
Organize cleaning products under the sink
Wash down Walls
Clean Dog Kennel
Organize shelf above washer and dryer
Take old clothes to good will
Organize baby clothes by age (DONE)
Buy storage bins for baby clothes
Get Babies clothes ready (DONE)
Buy Crib and Crib Bedding (DONE)
Buy Car Seat
Buy High Chair
Take pictures of glider rocker, extra play pen, and extra baby swing to sale

All this while - keeping up on the house work, Playing with Bella (cause how can I not!), being a short order cook.

Ohh yea and name the baby. I'm back to Melah ~ I just wish I loved something, ANYTHING lol

Then vs Now

2009-03-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

Every pregnancy is different I wanted to take a moment to share the differences.

With Bella I could tell you what month /week/ day/ fucking second I was into the pregnancy.
Last night my mom said so just a couple more months until she is here huh, and I said umm yea like 3 or something.

Bella never moved so it was a HUGE deal when she gave just a tiny squirm.
This lady never stops so while I do spend a little time each night laughing at her rolling around part of me wishes she would stop using my innards as a trampoline.

I had the pregnancy body women envy with Bella you couldn't tell from the back I had a baby on board. My tummy looked like I swallowed a little soccer ball. I was wearing my "normal" clothes the whole time.
This time my muffin tops are in over drive... and my ass is getting wide

Last time Dylan walked on egg shells about saying things that may hurt my feelings. (we were a fairly new couple)
This time he says funny ass things like hon do you think a one piece bathing suit will fit you? I mean with your big belly and all.

With Bella I couldn't wait to have her and bring her home.
This time while I am excited I know how hard it is once they get home.

Wow am I busy

2009-03-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

So you would think for someone who stays home and watches kids all day I would update more. But umm I'm busy - you know finger painting, teaching ABCs, and a song in case you get lost. (It was my moms idea - its just mine and Dylans phone number.) In case Bella gets lost not so much me.

We found out we are having another little girl, while I really wanted a boy sense this is our last baby, I am so so happy to have a girl. This lil one is much much more active then Bella was in the belly. only problem is I have no IDEA what to name her.

Her middle name will be Sue.

As far as first names so far I like

Meilah (me-la)
Cholei
Hailei
Kaleiah (ka-le-ah)
kerti (key-r-t)

so far Dylan says (in order)
ehh I don't hate it
like it but isn't everyone named that (he is right)
Again like it but we want something a little less common
WTF no kylei - we are middle class white people we were not blessed enough to be islanders
Fuck no - Say that 5 times fast hon. I bet ya can't

Bella's name is actually
Aleina (A-lean-a) Bella

He liked the name hated the spelling but told me after I gave birth I could name her whatever I wanted and spell it as messed up as I wanted.

So if you happen to have any girly names let me know :)

its been a while

2008-12-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

OK so umm HI how are you...

My world has been turned upside down then tossed around crushed and trampled and then sent into a holiday dash of a haze.

So short and sweet.

I went to the coast on my birthday, spent the best time of my life getting to once again remember why I loved my ex and understand that yes you can go from hate hating someone to love again. It just takes an open mind and a little work.

Then SURPRISE Dylan purposed to me. I said yes of course I want nothing more then a family and the person I love to work my life through.

Everything was going great I was working on a great everything is so perfect post to write with the big news.

THEN SURPRISE I have a baby on the way. Yea that one shocked us all!

Happy happy joy joy life is so great!

Then my Popo my hero (a few posts down) fell and hit his head. He suffered major head trauma after a few weeks of all the family wanting him to some how get better from the horrible turn his life had taken he passed away.

I didn't get to say goodbye. He was my hero and he is gone now I believe the pain is so deep I have not allowed myself to feel it yet, not sure I ever will.

Less then a week after his death I started to cramp and bleed. Went to the ER at 11:00pm .

About 2:00am they not so nicely told me I should or would lose the baby. Or you know maybe not not much I can do about it now good luck bye bye.

The Dr told me the same thing the next day.

I say you know what fuck you I am having this here kid because you have no idea how strong my will power is.

Other then that times are great I have a two year old that is petrified of Santa but can't wait to see him come. Makes for some great pictures.

I'm still staying home with her and with my sweet little niece. I'm taking classes to open an at home daycare in hopes that's what I can do to help support us until the kids go to school.

I have never been more happy or heartbroken then I am now.

But in the end through it all I'm so proud of where I am in life and know Popo is too.

Sorry for the keyboard vomit I will be back soon!

Mommy I cut my booty!! ohh and 23

2008-10-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

Last night Monkey woke up about 12:45 screaming I have to poop I have to poop! I put her on the potty and waited...

And waited (have you ever waited for a two year old to poop at 12:45?)

Waited a little more and sure enough after a ton of trying nothing came out. So I put a diaper on her and said babe go back to bed, if you have to poopy go and we will change you in the morning.

This lovely morning about 6:00am I wake up to Mommy I crapped and cut my booty!!

My first thought was where did she learn the word crap? my second was ouch that had to hurt. Yet when I went to change her still nothing. poor girl has been on and off the potty all morning trying to go.

She has been walking around my sister in laws house all morning Momma I have to crap; momma my crappy hurts. I have been giving her plumb juice and saying I'm sorry baby this is why you must lay off the milk and cheese...

I sure do hope relief comes soon for the poor girl. she has a busy weekend.

Today is my 23rd birthday and me and Dylan are heading to the coast for a weekend trip. (We have never taken a vacation with just the two of us. Well we went camping once and made Monkey but that's a whole different story)

Monkey is going to her Yayas house (my mom) and has a dinner date tonight, my aunts 50th birthday Saturday and then a family dinner for my birthday.

I'm so excited yet feel bad about leaving her with the hurt booty and all ;)

Another Tag...

2008-10-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

I am: Happy as ever
I know: My child will one day potty train
I want:To figure out a way to sdo daycare for a living
I have: Very little sanity
I hate: ignorance
I fear: Something happenong to my Monkey
I feel: Pulled in two directions, my two year old wanting to play play and my baby niece wanting to cuddle.
I hear: Jack Johnson
I smell: the sweet smell of babies head
I crave: sweeties and like 15 cups of tea a day?? not normal
I search: for free things to do in the city...
I wonder: if I'm ever going to have the guts to get knocked up!
I regret: I tgry my best not to live in my regerts.. far to many
I care: about my family duh!
I always: read books...
I am not: scared of the future
I believe: in not wasting energy on things that are out of your control.
I sing: twinkle twinlkle little star at leat 30 times a day.. & love it!
I fight: with my own emotions daily. I've been a bit crazy latly not knowing why
I write: to do lists foreverything!
I can usually be found: At home or the park.
I lose: Everything all the time! I just lost my purse for the third time this year!
I win: Because I have almost everything I ever wanted in life.
I wish: For another baby
I never: say never.
I forget: Everything after about a minute... I think its due to the car crash.
I am scared: Of someone hurting me or my baby girl so that I'm not with her in life.
I need: some tea
I am happy about: Working things out with Dylan
I tag: You...and you too! Oh, and you. I didn't forget about you!

Hurting

2008-09-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I lost my baby. Not monkey, but a new baby on the way. Durning that same time I had lost my job and given up on my realationship. Times where hard, I had a two year old that was having her world ripped apart. I had to figure out how to make due with unemployment and be happy for a very confused little girl.

Sense then my ex has started to show me just how much he cared about this family. He got a new job and moved out on his own. Yet he still brings by milk, daipers, you know whatever I may need, including a coffee every morning. Basically he is here to make sure we are doing good. He didn't do much of that when he lived here. Sure I had whatever money came from his check but I wanted someone home enjoying being a family. Now just a few months later he has made a point to prove to me that he has grown up and is ready to be a family man. I can't say 100% that I am ready for him to come back, I go between its to good to be true to well is this what I really want? Do I want to be with a man who I have to push along the way? He makes me insanly happy when times are good, lately eventhough in my heart I am dieing times have been good.

Then last night I stayed at his house and it hit me like a slap in the face. I lost a child I lost something so special and rare and I couldn't even allow myself the time to cry over it. Of course once I realized that I started to cry, the first soft tears woke him up and he held me the whole time telling me how it wasn't my fault and how sorry he was. I needed that not his sorrow but my whole family knew about the baby and the loss. Everyone took my word for it when I told them ohh I'm ok its for the best.

The loss of a child is never for the best, at least not for me. My daughter is my hero she makes me a better me. Just out of love.

So no I am not OK no I don't think that this was for the best.

But if you knew me and knew what I have lived through in my life you may believe me when I say everything is fine.

I'm not fine now not right this second, but I will be. I have someone in my life that is tring to be a part of my life and understands why I may break out in tears late one night.

That in itself is enough to help me heal.

Busy Busy Bee

2008-09-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

My goodness for being a bored stay at home momma I have been a busy busy girl. Last night I went to Bingo with some friends from my old job. My best friend won a thousand dollars on a game. I won nothing at all but I had so so much fun.

Today I have to get my booty in gear and clean my house, because I have a makeover party tonight for a few friends and I.

Tomorrow I have picture CD to finish for my mom and then a make a DORA cake. My bestfriend and I made this cake for Monkeys 2nd birthday. Now I guess thats all her older cousin wants for her birthday sunday. Both my bestfriend and I were ready to burn the damn pan when we were done. Now that she is a big winner I'm not sure I can get her to help. LOL. This means I have to make a trip to the craft store to get the correct tips again and go buy a box or two of cake mix. Not to mention googling for the directions. Then my Ex and I are going to go out on a date night. Dinner, then a movie, stop by some local clubs for entertainment. He and I have been working pretty hard on working things out. Here is to hopping :)

Then Sunday I don't have any real big plans but I do fully plan on making a great home cooked meal for my Ex and me and Monkey. There are few things I love more in this world then spending a sunday night making a wonderful dinner and relaxing around the house with family.

Domestic Goddess

2008-08-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

Today I got up and picked Monkey up from her dads house. She was still out cold when I got home so I went and worked in my garden. To my surprise most of my tomatoes turned from green to red, well not really overnight but I thought they would space themselves more. I have 3 plants and they are huge! Right now I think its safe to say I have anywhere between 10 and 20 pound of tomatoes and still a ton more coming in a few weeks. Today was spent making and canning salsa I have never canned before today so cross your fingers I don’t get botulism. J

I plan on making Pasta sauce and stewed tomatoes with the next batch. I’m also chopping and grading Zucchini and crock neck squash for the winter.

Monkey is yet to take a nap today and I forget how badly I NEED that :P

Popo ~

2008-08-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

Growing up I spent m summers in California with my grandpa and my aunt and uncles. Looking back now I realize just how important that was to making me who I am today.
So many things came from my time with him. How I drink my coffee when in a bad mood, my love for Mexican food, the years I spent boxing. The years I spent trying be a bad ass to make up for the fact that I was a 4ft nothing. My Grandpa (Popo) is my hero in many ways, just like any hero I have learned so much from him. I have one hell of a right hook, so watch out if your trying to take advantage. I learned to be afraid of being alone like him, learned why I would never want to be an alcoholic. In a couple hours he is going to be back in town I have not seen him sense right after Bella was born. I’m excited.

Monkey’s Issues

2008-08-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

I am on of the most laid back people you will ever meet. Not many things get me excited other then politics. I’m a huge hippy can’t help it I just am.
But my Monkey she is something else. At two years old the girl is already a neat freak. I love it come cleaning time when she gets a huge smile on her face and asks for something to wipe down, my house is dust free from 2 ft down :). But times like this morning I wonder if there is not more to her neatness, she had a hard night last night; up every couple of hours with bad dreams. This morning she has been in non stop cleaning mode. At this point she is pulling the magnets off of the fridge and cleaning them then lining them up in rows. She already picked up her toys and helped put away her folded laundry. Part of me worries that maybe this is some starting form of OCD but then part of me is glad that at two she has already found a way to center herself. If only I could do the same for myself. :)

Sunday 8:23pm

2008-08-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

Ahh Sunday how I love a good Sunday. Where I come from Sundays mean a family BBQ. Amazing food, a beautiful back yard to relax in, beer or wine and a few hours of not being on full mommy alert because you have the aunts and uncles to entertain your little one. There have been many a Sunday where that was my weeks saving grace. For me right now it also means seeing my baby niece she is just a couple weeks old starting to notice her surrounding. There is nothing in this world that gives me so much joy as family. Times like these are the times that matter truly matter.

I get why my parents had children and why we saw so much of our aunts and uncles growing up. I recall it being me and my cousins fighting, playing, I was one of the boys around my cousins because that is how our family worked. My grandpa and grandma had 6 kids by the time I came around I have cousins of cousins from cousins. Great aunts and many an Ex husbands… A family of women that’s how I saw us anyway.

Now my family Sundays are much smaller – typically they are in my moms backyard and she cooks while I try to bring something to help out. My big brother he is know for the best bacon wrapped jalapeño, then cheese smothered scrimp. Mmm when I was pregnant with monkey I could down a whole plate of them with no worries. Tonight I failed to bring a side. In my defense I did think many a time oh shit don’t forget to make dessert through out my day. Never the less I got my perfect Sunday afternoon all though I was missing my best friend towards the end family get together are always with her there.

The icing to my Sunday cake is my monkey fell asleep on the way home and now at 8:30pm I am already relaxing, with monkey the gift of going to bed before 9pm is rare. Sleeping in is just not an option. I can’t help but think looking at the puppy curled around my feet that days like today are the days you sip on and enjoy. This is what life is about.

I’m off to set up something’s on the site and read. I truly wish you had or have had a Sunday or any day like this.

First blog – whoo hoo!

2008-08-10T15:40:00.000-07:00

I had a blog a while ago 2 years to be exact I was going through some big life changes (first house, pregnancy, brand new to the super mom era) and did not want to forget them. My now ex would get jealous of the not so nice all be it true things I would say out of frustration about him. One night after a bad fight I deleted the blog, not because he told me to but because it was something that still bothered him. When you are fighting to save the American dream you give up things. That blog was MonkeyFacesBellaPlaces. This blog is Monkey&Mommy.

I plan to write about being a 22yr old single mother to a beautiful smart little two year old girl in our society. I will talk about balancing work and play, but never about balancing my check book. I will share my fears hopes dreams and goals for no reason other then I need any outlet.

A little back history ~ very little because it is late…

My ex moved out 3 weeks ago so I am still adjusting to being alone. Something I am enjoying more then I ever thought I would.

Two weeks ago I was laid off from work. I was the main provider for my family while my ex lived here. On average he worked 3 to 4 days a week, if that. I worked a 7-4 shift in a small car corporation I grew up in. Cleaned a couple houses on the weekends to make ends meat and pay off my house. The economy is shit now and I was a computer equipment order clerk, lets just say people are doing with out a lot these days. My position was one of the things that went away… ;P

I took this as an opportunity because well hell to many bad things have happened to us lately. I’m at home with my daughter as of now looking into going back to school problem is it’s a lot of money to spend not knowing what the hell you want to be. I am also applying to jobs dream jobs that I would love to have, I would like to work either with children or the elderly. But then again part of my soul really enjoyed the corporate world. Maybe someday I can find a good corporate man who can treat a lady as one. But that’s just wishful thinking, right now I have a little girl to worry about and most men run for that.

To be honest my dream is to be a mom not just any mom but the best mom I can be, that is what gets me up in the morning. Nothing has ever gone so completely right in my life then my little girl .

So please feel free to join me in my journey and slap me in the face with good advice along the way.